All parents have their own – unique – way of bringing up their kids. They do their best to raise them, but nobody's perfect. That's why, when they look back, they all want to fix some of the mistakes they made in the past. Here are some of the things they regret, so you can avoid making the same mistakes.
1. They scolded their children too often
Reprimanding a child for something they did wrong is totally normal. But sometimes parents go overboard and it turns into nit-picking.
Some parents believe that the higher their expectations are for their children, the more successful the kids will be in the future. But it surely doesn't work this way. Scolding a child for every little mistake can lead to behavioural problems. Punishments for bad grades are also harmful. They can kill off the desire for learning in any child. And, of course, being too strict can have another huge downside – a poor relationship with your child. That's why you should only punish your kids for things that actually matter. A broken cup shouldn’t be on that list.
2. They missed out on the most important moments in their children's lives.
Of course, every parent has a lot of commitments, and juggling all of them is no easy feat. But children desperately need parents to be there for them. Some occasions that might not seem that important for an adult, really mean a lot for kids. Children need to have someone close to them at moments like these. Even if you think you have a good reason to miss your child's school play, do your best to be present. Find time to visit grandma, go to the theatre, decorate your house for the holidays. Because your bond with your children gets stronger by creating memories together. Otherwise, in the future, you'll feel bad about how many great moments passed you by.
3. They didn’t play enough creative games.
Of course, simply playing creative games with your kids won’t necessarily make them great artists or musicians in the future. But, hey, there’s always a chance. Doing this has a lot of other advantages as well. Any kind of activity, like drawing or playing with playdough, has a positive effect on developing their intelligence, imagination, and increasing their vocabulary. Also, if your kid is engaged in a lot of different activities, it makes it easier for you to find out what they have an interest in and what they’re good at. This is important since they can show promising abilities even at a young age and develop them later.
4. They didn’t take enough photos and videos. Obviously,
Not taking photos won’t have any bad impact on your kids’ lives. But it’s the best way to capture amazing moments that you don’t want to forget. When your kids grow up and leave home, the pictures will be there to remind you what a long way they’ve come. Besides, looking through those pictures together with your grown-up kids lets you relive all their milestones and those beautiful memories together. That’s why not using a camera often enough is one of the regrets many parents can relate to. And even though we live in a digital era, having a classic photo album can be a nice family tradition.
5. They didn’t take their child’s opinion into account.
“You’re too young to decide”, “Adults know better” are probably phrases you heard quite often when you were a kid. It was irritating, right? But this kind of attitude from parents can have a serious impact on a kid’s future. If children feel like their opinion is often neglected, they may grow up to be insecure. And it’s logical if you think about it.
How can you know what you want from life or set your own goals to achieve if there was always someone who made decisions for you?
Ofcourse, as a parent, you can’t go along with your kid’s every wish or desire. I mean, your kid really can’t bring home every stray dog they meet. That’s your wife’s job. Really! But instead of simply refusing, explain to the child why it’s a bad idea. In some other cases, you can discuss their opinion and meet them half-way.
6. They didn’t enjoy communicating with their child.
Communication between parents and kids is probably the most important thing in upbringing. So if you don’t put aside enough time for it, one day you’ll wake up and realize that your child has grown up already and is living their own life. Of course, it’s totally okay to do things around the house when your kid is playing alone. But try not to turn it into a habit. Because children need not only your physical presence, but emotional involvement as well, to feel they’re loved and cared about. There’s no turning time back, so let yourself enjoy the moments you spend together.
7. They didn’t educate them about money.
For some reason, some parents avoid the topic of money with their kids. Of course, these children don’t believe that money grows on a tree, but they might think it just magically appears in the ATM. Without education on personal finance and responsible spending, children don’t understand the real worth of money.
And when they grow up, they find it hard to manage their own income. Giving your kid some pocket money will teach them how to save up and spend wisely. Besides, you can let your teen earn their own money. They can mow the lawn of a neighbor or babysit. Every time you go shopping together, tell your kids how much money they can spend this time to limit their wishes. All these tips will provide your children with opportunities to learn about things like budgeting, saving, and being more responsible.
8. They didn’t make their child happy enough.
Good memories from our childhood are a real treasure for most of us. We like to go back in our mind to that time when we were carefree, and quite often every day was filled with doing something for the first time. Every child should have a lot of new experiences and live in a healthy atmosphere. That’s what makes them happy. And when kids are happy, they develop more actively, which means they’ll find it easier to adapt to adult life and start new relationships in the future. So, go to an amusement park, ride ponies, and sail a boat with your kid. Try to do something exciting at least once a day together to make sure your child has as many happy moments in their life as possible.
10. They weren’t consistent.
Consistency might just be one of the biggest challenges in upbringing. For example, you usually don’t let your kids eat unhealthily
food. But suddenly you get too caught up with work and give them pizza for lunch. Next thing you know they’re demanding it for every meal. It may feel next-to-impossible to maintain the exact same standards for your children daily, but not trying to do so often leads to major regrets for parents. Kids get confused about what’s allowed and what’s not. Without clear boundaries, they probably won’t behave the way you want them to, and obedience issues become inevitable. Also, don’t forget that you should follow your own rules to set an example. No phone during family dinner means no phone for everyone.
11. They often followed someone else’s advice.
There are people who just can’t help but give advice, even if nobody asks for it. And sometimes young, inexperienced parents feel like it’s better to listen to them. Such “experts” have tons of information about the way you should feed, dress, and raise your children. Of course, some of it may be useful and sensible, but never forget that YOU are the parent, so it’s up to you to decide what’s best for your kids. Also, don’t let strangers scold your child for misbehaving. A child needs to feel there’s always someone who will support and protect them. So, let them know they can always count on you. What’s your favorite childhood memory? Let me know down in the comments! If you learned something new today, then give this article a like, comment and share it with a friend.
